I am puke
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
