Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
