I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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