i need an iv and a liver transplant
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
