u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
