I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
