My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
