am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
