He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Do vagina's smell?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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