Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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