Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
