ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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