Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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