I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
