You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
