why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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