Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
