finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
