I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize