I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
