It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
