my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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