yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
