Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm passing your future prison.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
