Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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