Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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