i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
