Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
