There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
