The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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