Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
