hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
