Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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