Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
