She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're making bets on your personal life
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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