I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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