They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
