Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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