I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize