When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
