That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
