i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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