thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
