..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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