Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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