I met the friendliest cop last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
