doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
