good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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