hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My life is pants optional.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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