D3 body, D1 cock
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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