You can't motorboat a personality
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
