dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
