My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize