before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There are leaves in my underwear?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
