If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Couch. On fire.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have post one night stand depression
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize