I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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