She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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