It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
