I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize