perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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