Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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