Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
whose parrot is this?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
