I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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